Corporate Env Mgt and Public Policy

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However, people sometimes forego the natural progression of a relationship and try to attain instant intimacy, perhaps mistaking that increased knowledge for friendship. For some people this disclosure may stem from a need to fill an emotional void, or out of a misguided belief that their openness will endear them to others. For other people, ‘‘oversharing’’ may simply be a result of a poor understanding of what is socially acceptable. In our warpspeed world when we’re often in a job or a city for a short time or we’re dealing with people via cyberspace, we push for instant connection, and sometimes we move too quickly for someone’s comfort level.

11309$ $CH5 04-21-05 10:04:37 PS PAGE 36 CHAPTER 6 Tell Me Less Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid An e-mail goes to everyone in the company, announcing the birth of a baby—and giving more than a few details about the wife’s protracted labor. The woman who works on your floor corners you at an office party and tells you more about her dysfunctional relationship with her mother than people usually tell their analysts. A loquacious manager turns small talk before a meeting into a play-byplay description of the ugly details of his recent divorce.

In such cases, try to concentrate on the motivation, and focus the thanks around the thoughtfulness of the gesture rather than the item itself. Don’t let the giver know that you are less than thrilled with the gift. Instead, focus on the act of giving and graciously thank the person for his or her thoughtfulness. Even though we’re told that giving is more beneficial than receiving, the act of receiving graciously is an attribute that we should all cultivate. People feel rewarded for their effort, and the positive reinforcement makes them more amenable to doing things for others.

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